Carol Bontekoe

This blog has been keeping track of my adventures since 2004. The stories and the adventures have come from my college dorm room to Uganda, Peace Corps Kyrgyzstan, learning Dutch in the Netherlands to living in the wilds of Homer, Alaska. I went back to school in Amsterdam to study Theaterwetenschap (Theatre Science) at University of Amsterdam. And now my adventures as a Fruit Fly, a Sexy Unicorn, and creating a movement with Team Sparkle in Chicago.

Saturday, February 12, 2005

The biggest oxymoron I ever saw

CMT celebrates Black History Month......

Wednesday, February 9, 2005


I was thinking about Crushes today. How we build our crushes up to become these super people. I mean isn't your crush always the smartest person you know. Oh and of course funny in this way that you totally get, even if other people don't. There is always just that something, that thing you can't describe about them that makes them so special to you. Then of course there is the issue of befriending your crush. Oh man don't even get me started(as Molly Shannon would say) That seems to be my hobby, either becoming their friend once I have a crush on them or crushing a friend and becoming an even better friend to them. I'm always that funny pal they can call if they need me but have a tendency to forget about til they really need something, even though you being the crusher(sounds more badass than pathetic) is always on time and very attentive. There is always that issue too of them not being interested in you. But an even more pressing and upsetting issue is when they like someone else and you have to hear about it. Because of course you hate the bitch(there is the random once in a while where they like someone who is actually nice and that can be much worse and hurt much more then when they like the crazy ass bitch) but you can never tell them that. You don't want to look like you like your crush and trash talking the bitch is the fast way to look like you do. You have to smile and say nice things about her and stuff. Where as when you don't like someone and they really are just your friend you can call his girlfriend a drunken slut all you want. I was thinking about my crush today. Alright I think about him everyday, get of my back!!!!! Well anyways Jenny Jo and I were watching Scrubs we both have a superficial crush on the character J.D., not Zach Braff he in real life seems weird. But I was hypothetically thinking that it is more likely that I have more of a chance of getting with J.D.(a made up character) then I do my crush. So it made me think should we never have crushes because of the CRUSHing pain it can cause? Or should we only like people that we can have? Or should I just give up and become a catholic and give up on men and become a nun?And then I realized even though nothing may come of them I actually enjoy having a crush. It leaves you something to hope for. And sometimes a little hope is what we need in our lives.