Danger!

I was driving the Skid Steer today and I noticed a sticker on it that simply said:DANGER!AVOID DEATH!no tips on how to achieve avoiding death. they aren't saying you aren't going to die they are just saying Avoid it for as long as possible. And they don't wanna be sued if you fuck up on that whole dieing thing. Isn't that the only time strangers care about someones death? If there is a possiblty of them getting sued. What am I doing right now? I'm Avoiding death.

My First Marriage

Today while I was at the Store trying to buy some stationary I had wondered into the wrong paper aisle and found something that I was tempeted to buy for later. I found a do-it-yourself-kit called:GET A DIVORCE:The Do-It-Yourself-Kit.I thought hmmmmmm... Why shouldn't divorce be available in an aisle for the low cost of 20 dollars. It's perfect. It is so American. I really wanted to get it for my first marriage I want it to be quick and as painless as possible. So maybe I should buy it and save it. So when my first husband decides he won't put out one night I'll reach into my sock draw and pull out the Get a Divorce papers and be like alright you put on Conan I'll start filling these out. Because I am a woman of the 21st century and I can do it by myself. I didn't buy it, not enough money. But it is nice to know that it is there. So when I get married I don't have to be nervous because I know when divorce time comes I can do it myself.

UTC

My open LetterWriting about camp would take too long for me to do again so I just am putting in the email I sent my sister about it.Hola Hermana!Girl I'm glad you got to Ecuador safe and everything, and I'm glad that mom's fears about you being brought to Ecuador as a slave to some Ecuadorian family as been abated, but girl you told me like nothing about la Jungla! What is the low down Double D? Any cool birds or monkeys?Well that Camp I went to was awesome! I think you should do it next year. I had prepared myself for the absolute worst but it was so cool. Like everyday we would learn a lesson from the Bible and then we would try to apply that lesson while we played volleyball. Of course my volleyball team lost ALL of our games the first day, so my uber competive nature had trouble remembering the principles I just cursed the fact that I had never been a good volleyball player because I wanted to WIN!!! We evetually did start winning but it was after a long time. We even had to play one game in complete silence! No clapping even. That was frickin' intense.We got to go white water rafting! They weren't very big rapids but it was fun, it was rainy so the water was pretty fast and choppy. And even though these weren't big rapids, one guy on my boat fell out! His name is Dan and he fell out because of his own stupidity. He of course acted like he was the best rafter in the group and would never listen. So he fell out and it took forever(!) to get him back in the boat. Because it took so long to get him in the boat we got derailed and ended up in an Eddy, which is suppose to be the safe area. Well in the midsts of pulling Dan's dumbass back in the boat the other fat kid Max and I ended up on the same side of the boat. SO while we were in the Eddy we ended up High Siding with no warning. It didn't high side on the fat kid side! So the boat is up on one side and we were all scrambling to get to the high side, I honestly thought the boat was going to flip but I was still fighting it. But I couldn't really hold on so i grabbed Max's life Jacket and he broke me off of him and I WENT IN THE WATER!!!! AHHHH!!!! SO COLD! And the problem with falling in where I did is it was so freakin' shallow, I probablly just could have stood up and gotten back in. But in the panic of Carol has fallen out of the boat, They wouldn't let me go and I was being dragged on top of rocks, Hit my knee! And I had the world's smallest life jacket so my back was getting beat up.But my boat had the most interesting journey so it's all good in the end and I wasn't seiriously hurt. Another night we went to this place called Fort Fun which had laser tag and these girls Ali and Molly kept pretending to be nice to me and then would kill me. So I did terribly but I had fun. HAHAHAHA I have been putting off telling you about what you wanna hear about. THE SPECIAL! That 24 hour work out thing that you wanted me to go into training for. I prolly should have trained but I don't think there is anything I could have really done to train for it. I did finish! I did fine actually. And like cuz I'm fat they kept thinking I couldn't do anything. We like started out with Volleyball where my team sucked, then ultimate frisbee where my team sucked, then tug of war where my team actually did alright, then push-ups where I feel like we weren't the worst team, then Swimming where may I say I kicked ass, Then Basketball. That was the first day. I kept getting frustrated cuz seriously every five seconds they were like Carol you need a break? I'm like I'm freakin' fine. They even were like checking on me during swimming, when I was doing well. We did get like 2 hours sleep after all that before having to get up at 4 for an obsticle course. It was insane. That is when I was breaking down cuz I'm so tired. We had to make free throws in the dark, hit tennis balls in the dark, do the army crawl, up downs, go around a track, and then push a car. All that while carrying a board with a tire around it. It sucked ass! We ran like 3 miles! after that I passed out for a little bit and ya know how I sleep with my eyes open, one girl thought my I was dead! hahahaha.Then we played Kick Ball(where I was still asked if I was alright) and then we did relays where I had to do crab crawl cuz one girls arms were tired and it took me like a half hour to do the crab crawl. After that is when I had to run up the mountain with a board on my back. It was so hard and I wasn't running so much as walking, BUT I FINISHED!!! WHAT?! WHAT?! I'm really glad I did it though!I even found some good chrstian songs for ya cuz I know how much ya like them ;) My favorite was called Prince of Peace. Saaaaaaaa Good. ALright I'm going to go rake leaves!!!!! NEVER ENDS DOES IT?! Holla back at me girl and have fun!From here to the moon this is CAROL BONTEKOE signing out