My mama spits on me every morming...

Every morning there is an arguement between me and my Mama, she wants me to iron my clothes. I don't want to. She always wins. The first time I ironed I was on the floor going at it with my mama telling me well done in Russian when she got up and got a cup of water. She swireled it around took in a big gulp and "SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSPPPPPPPPPPPPTTTTTTTTT"" She SPIT all over me and my Skirt! This happened many more times. I was soaked, my skirt was soaked and I was shell shocked.I told my Teacher about it later. I mean I was spit all over!!! She looked at me blankely. We stared. She replied, "Yeah, sometimes you have to dampen the clothes to get the wrinkles out.""I know, BUT SHE SPIT ON ME!!!""Yeah."No sympathy was going to be coming my way. I thought maybe it was a one time thing. I have now come to prepare myself. When I see my Mama get up to get a cup of water I brace myself and try to block as much as I can.I'm not just learning Russian and how to run a classroom or block spit here. I'm learning lots of cultural things. My Teacher is Uzbek and a really good Uzbek Dancer. The dancing includes alot of hand movements and a lot of Sass. She has been teaching myelf and the other Girl Trainee, Lydia, in my village how to do traditional Uzbek Dances. I have been repaying her for this by teaching her a traditional American dance I like to call the "The Farley". Mostly clipped pieces of Farley's Chip and Dale Dance. Lydia took a picture of me showing my teacher this dance. I don't want to say she looked shocked... I feel stunned is a better word.I have also been learning to cook. And how to go Guesting. Peace Corps asked us what we planned on doing if we ran out of sum with a few days left in the month. Lydia and I looked at each other and said, "Ya go Goosting." Goosting is more how you pronounce guesting, which is just visiting people...unannounced. See my mama, god bless her, is not a good cook. So I like to show up at other people's houses conviently around dinner time. You know just to chat. A meal will be on the table in no time. I entertain with my chut-chut poruski and they feed me. I feel it is all a fair trade. My mama has taught me to cook some things but I really want to learn how to make anything with Eggplant. Why had I never had Egg Plant? It is so good!!! Andrew's mom is Turkish so she said she would show me how to make some Eggplant dishes. I am pumped.Today was my first time out of the village in unrelated Peace Corps official business. Lydia and I got ourselves all the way out to another one of the Peace Corps villages and crashed a Bride Knapping. Not a real one but a staged one by some of the other Trainees so we could learn about the tradition of Bride Knapping. It was pretty classna(cool). Getting around on public Transportation and getting to see all that is involved, in the knapping. We showed up totally unannounced and luckily showed up at the exact right spot. They kept saying we were honored guests. I love this country we are honored guests just for crashing. No invite or anything. One girl said she was sure it was fine if we came but that was the closest we got. Sorry this is choppy and quick but I had to go through a German site to get here and it is taking all my sum to do this. Speaking of Germans....When I am in a group of Trainees I am automatically American. When it is just Lydia and I we are automatically German... Sometimes German Volleyball players. They will ask how to say something in German or if we speak German or where in Germany do we live. We aren't sure why people assume this but Lydia is even taller than me so we are going to assume it is a height thing. Well I get to go try to get home by myself because Lydia went to her little brother's concert. Fingers crossed you will hear form me again.

We all knew it was a matter of time...

yep. yep. yep. You know me right? I'm assuming if you are bothering to read this ta you know me. so... yeah... How long did you think it would be before I got a trip to the hospital? A week? A month? Alright, we all know with my track record I couldn't go a moth in another country without a going to the hospital.You know what though, I did good. I mean I made it 3 weeks before I had to go. Over a week ago I got to go the hospital two days in row. The first day was for x-rays. The second day was to put my nose back into place.. yep. Broke the old schnoze, AGAIN! I need my Rip Hamilton mask back! One of you G-villers needs to call Doc Day and get him to mail it to me(You should have my address, and I am highly aticipating my fisrt package *wink*wink*)So, how did my nose get broken? Was it going Ninja on some Muggers ass?(sorry mom, but you don't like butt, buttocks, or even bottom so I figured go full throttle with the "a-word") No. No. No. Was it getting an elbow to the face from an old Babyshucka ass we fought for a space on a Marshutka(minibus)? No, but God I wish it was that! It happened at recess. See as a part of my second childhood I get recess time, and at recess we play with a frisbee. We were playing a game where one person throws the frisbee into the air and assigns it a point value and everyone scrabmles to get it... can you see why I wish there was a babyshucka involved? Anyway, with only a minute or two left of recess and *SNAP* Dan had jumped into the air and elbowed me in the face. I knew right away it was broken cuz when it happened I heard the snap. heard the gasp from on-lookers, and heard Mexican Matt(We need adjectives to tell people apart, see there is also Arryan Matt) yell, "It wasn't me!!!"I knew it was broken, but I tried to play it off as a bloody nose because I come from the Pam Bontekoe school of walk it off. IF YOU HAVE A PULSE, YOU WALK IT OFF. Also, I have done the broken nose thing enough not to worry about it because I always stay beautiful afterwards. Also, I didn't want to make a big deal of it because of Dan. Dan is seriously one of the nicest people I have ever met and I didn't want him to feel bad. To keep my nose from swelling they gave me a chilled sausage link. Another Trainee, Erin, and I laughed as I sat there with the sausage on my nose and the hars toilet paper(crete paper more like it) jammed up my nose.I put up a fight against getting the x-rays because I already knew it was broken and I didn't want them to have proof. It was cool getting the x-rays though cuz we didn't mess with that lead covering nonsense. Also, I knew I ahd metal in my jaw but they didn't. So it was fun to watch them tun around trying to figure out where it came from.The next day I got to go see a different hospital to see a nose specialist. Ididn't even know they had them. I tell ya, Soviet Efficiency, amazing. I din't look as messed up as everyone else there. I just had a lump on the side of my nose and a little blue under my eyes. I had the lump because normally when you break you nose it is sideways, but mine was up and out. I was being told this in Russian with a little bit of it being relayed back to me in English. Then all of a sudden she had me in a head lock and was using her two thumbs to push it back into place. I had my arms and legs flailing about and was getting ready to punch her when she let go.She did a good job, it all looks fine. So, two hospital visits down. Lord knows how many more to go!