Carol Bontekoe

This blog has been keeping track of my adventures since 2004. The stories and the adventures have come from my college dorm room to Uganda, Peace Corps Kyrgyzstan, learning Dutch in the Netherlands to living in the wilds of Homer, Alaska. I went back to school in Amsterdam to study Theaterwetenschap (Theatre Science) at University of Amsterdam. And now my adventures as a Fruit Fly, a Sexy Unicorn, and creating a movement with Team Sparkle in Chicago.

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

last memories of Uganda!

As Steven Put it: “Uganda is a country of Randomness!”

In Uganda I found out why the NILE is SPECIAL…

I have learned that if I know a series of grunts, well more sounds actually, and can use an eyebrow raise properly; I can have an entire conversation without ever uttering a word.

I still can’t believe Alia outweighs Farhan. A 122 pound girl shouldn’t have to worry about that!

Echo GET THE BOX!!!!!!!!

If you are in Uganda long enough, being stared at will stop making you feel uncomfortable.

When Ann, Kanayo and I got dropped off about 5 miles from where we were supposed to be it actually wasn’t so bad. On our hike back we saw monkeys everywhere in the trees. Towards the end it was pretty much old hat to go, “Oh there’s another one!”

Logic Problems

“He tries to get out and we draaaag him BACK IN!”

I know now that when you are taking a long bus ride it is only logical to bring your LIVE chicken on with you.

The Cruchy conspiracy theory.

Going away parties….. Especially when the people who the party is for decide not to show up….. tsk… tsk…. Farhan and Alia.

“LOOOOVVVEEE, I am the WINNA!!!” “No! Goodbye lossa!”

The Grace Face:

-Step 1: Look completely miserable
-Step 2: Bite the center of your front lip and crinkle your nose
-Step 3: Continue to look completely miserable.

An Air Force Major and a Mexican attempting to sing Tom Jones’s What’s new Pussy Cat.

Boda Bodas: “Sabo why are you putting ON your helmet?!!!!”

Of course Honey in a Fanta bottle is an antiseptic. Having an infection in my toes so bad I can barely walk and they give me honey!

Flavia’s red Sweater

Farhan’s Mansion. Grrrrrr. Had to hear about it and it’s Ice Cream and oh dare I say it…. HOT SHOWERS!!!

Daydreaming about HOT SHOWERS!!!!

Carol’s First Day teaching:
“Rule 1 speak in English. NO! Scratch that! Rule 1 NO BEATING each other while I’m around. Rule 2 Speak in English when I am the teacher. WAIT!!!!! Apply rule 1 even when I’m not around.

LOOK!!!! NO HANDS!!!!!

The affect the office had and how it made the Revolutionaries. First Revolutionaries run away, the Second Revolutionaries make us sit in boring meetings.

“SERIOUSLY guys! PROPER HOSTEL etiquette!”

Herd of cattle taking up one side of a 4 lane divided highway.


Celine is God!!!
-Kenny Rogers isn’t bad too.

I’m always getting in fights with the P.6 reader: “A WHALE IS NOT A FISH!!!!! IT IS A MAMMAL! GRRRRRRRR! Wait, Do you guys know what a mammal is?”


THE Igloo!
“Oh, Canada”
Daily Cup

I’m an American. I hate showers, and I only wipe down with a napkin.

Grace & Carol Naps.
Since when does it ran longer than a half hour here?
Ø “Shut up Farhan you’re not funny….” “Carol GET UP!” *Blink* *Blink* GLARE “I hate you Inigo. GO AWAY!!!” –Roll over than fall back asleep- *Wake up* “Did I just talk to Inigo?!”

Laying along Lake Buyonyi with Mary a man comes down and lays on the sun bed next to Mary and I. He keeps moving around then says, “I sleep around.”
-Mary and Carol’s faces do not look amused.


He is the kind of guy who doesn’t have problems because he doesn’t want to have problems.

The way children in Uganda get so excited over being given a book. My mother always wanted that kind of reaction out of her children.

Yeah….. Not so Much.

That bloody turn around outside the Garden City.

I developed a fear of worms I never had at home. They can be anywhere: the water, fruit, your stomach, urinary tract, small intestine, your toes, SWEET TARTS!!!!

Chivalry was invented in MEXICO!!!!

Ugandan time.

Jonathyn with a Y!!!!
For I am Inigo!

Problem Free Furropherry.

ON our crazy ride out to our came site at Lake Buyonyi our driver felt the need to point out that Lake Buyonyi is the deepest lake in Uganda. This was seriously a scary ride up some steep cliffs. My only reaction to him telling us that it was the deepest lake was, “OH good. DEEPEST. LAKE. IN. UGANDA! NO ONE WILL FIND THE CAR!!!!!!!” Then I hugged Grace even tighter.

The Bad Place!

The Lesbian Hooker Kidnapped ECHO!!!!

Rhoda’s Laugh
Brian’s Dancing(Three year old dancing is the best!)
Boris’s hat and comb&mirror
Nurse Ann’s Eternal optimism, “Oh, this is just soooo great!” It was always greatly appreciated.

James, his knife and his food. Oh and you can’t forget the hat!

I should have known better. In order to teach ultimate Frisbee, you should first teach them to throw a Frisbee first.

I have had Meat on a stick shoved into the window of my bus and thought, “Why not?!”

Sometimes watching the crazy people on Oprah can just make your day.

It’s Hokey Pokey! Not Hokey Kokey! Too many British volunteers running around corrupting kids in Africa with their Hokey Kokey!

Jigga Worms.

The Runaways!

Vitamins, Margarine, Aluminum, and Garage. If you are British you are reading each of these words wrong!
-Don’t worry I’m just having a Giraffe.

So a Rich Mexican, a Japanese Girl from Chicago, a Simile Shiite Muslim Canadian couple and a Midwestern Farmers daughter are walking down the road together in Uganda, How many different Races are there? In America there are 4 in Uganda only 1. We are all Mzungus in Uganda.

You give me SWEET!!!!


Peace taking a WEEK to put in my thick purple braids, that kind of looked like thin maroon braids.

There is an Irish Pub EVERYWHERE!!!!

Ugandan Shuffle.

Laura and I being crazy Mzungus arguing with a Ugandan Doctor.

“Madam! You are off sides!” “I don’t know what that means, so stop telling me I’m doing it!”

The Land Cruiser


Jeeeeeeesus we are Heera!

The Homeless man punching me!

“Hey Pam! I thought of another Musical…..”

Mzungu Corkscrew

No Seriously, Who the Fuck is Alice?!

School fees.

My teaching of Good Sportsmanship was reduced to a chant by the kids:
“Nooo Cheating”
“Nooo Beatings”
“Play by the Rules”

My toes are always red!

Madam China

Lisa’s secret books, looks, and Hand Shakes.

Random Ugandan Guys singing the creepy song “Oh, Carol” to me.

The Huge chunks of Dirt that came out when Erica took out my braids.

Bad Sabo

Dunk, Dunk, Goose

Malaria Test, Pregnancy test…. It’s all the same.

We need to go get the torch to find the parcel, for surely the Parcel will be grand. Getting parcels is brilliant. I never get enough at Uni. I hate minging parcels though, I only want a proper one.

Gossiping with the P.6 and P.7 kids.

Dutchmen on Buses can know a lot about your name.

Rude Rova, Rude Rova

Aunt! Aunt!

Geography, There are about 20 kids in Uganda who know where Lansing is.


Boon-ta-koo, Boon-ta-koo

“Madam, We are not cheating.” While holding another students exam.

The Fastest way to get your class to stop talking when you are working on passing drills for basketball is a quick chest pass to the child talking the loudest.


Biggie Mzungu



Hakuna Matata

Hair Straightening being an event.

3 ½ hours at the airport.

Runaway Gracie! You Cry baby!!!!!!

If you are trapped between a hippo and water you are dead.

Exams that ask you to look at the shaded region but yet have NO SHADED REGION!

I’ve seen Fire, I’ve seen rain, I’ve seen HAIL in Africa

Michigan Pride

“Madam it is 2 past 15” “No, it is 15 past 2.”



The Muslim triplets


Pray to your maker!

Madam High five. high four. high three. high two. high ONE!!!

She always seems nervous.

Emma Just switch me seats!!!!

Shelly’s nasty Nudie Blanket.

Ugandan Elvis.

They’re kicking us out! They are playing Celine Dion!!!!

Alright! We didn’t want you to walk with us anyway!

The sex advice column in the Newspaper.

We can dance. We can dance. We can leave your friends behind. Cuz your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance their no friends of mine.

Yes I googled everyone.

Are we getting any new volunteers?

Richard’s Lugandan Love songs


One of the Goal posts fell down so we can’t even play soccer!

Annie’s Generosity

Natalie and I had some great gossip fests about celebrities. And then when that was done about other volunteers. First half of my stay I heard no good gossip, right when I leave it got juicy.

Matatu Park.

Hairy Armpits

Inigo- In ya go

“We can dance for you.” “No that would cost money. We don’t have money” “Bye-Bye”

Why is there Talking? There should be no talking!!!!”

Secret Missions

Maybe he/she is on Larium…. Is accepted as an explanation for someone’s crazy behavior.

And Always remember….. MY HEART WILL GO ON