Carol Bontekoe
This blog has been keeping track of my adventures since 2004. The stories and the adventures have come from my college dorm room to Uganda, Peace Corps Kyrgyzstan, learning Dutch in the Netherlands to living in the wilds of Homer, Alaska. I went back to school in Amsterdam to study Theaterwetenschap (Theatre Science) at University of Amsterdam. And now my adventures as a Fruit Fly, a Sexy Unicorn, and creating a movement with Team Sparkle in Chicago.
Have you ever had one of those moments in life where you thought to yourself. Man My life did not turn out the way I thought it would. I seem to have those alot. But this morning I had a big one of those realizations. I was tailing a cow this morning, that is when you hold up the cow's tail because it makes them more complacent and makes it so they can't kick. Well if you can't already visualize it, if I'm having to fight a cow to keeps it's tail up that means that I'm lookin' her straight in the ass. So when one of these lovely ladies decided to crap on my face,I thought Man my life did not turn out how I thought it would. If you had told me growing up or even in high school that in the summer of my 21st year I would be having a cow crap on my face at 7 in the morning I would have laughed at you. But here we are and I sure enough got crapped on my face. So I'm going to stop thinking my life is going to be so grand, cuz then the next time I'm standing there with crap on my face I won't be so suprised. Maybe I should expect bad things because then life will give me good. So if I expect to die young I'll live til I'm old. If I expect to never find the love of my life he will come a knockin' on my door. And if I expect to be poor I'll end up with Bill Gates kind of money honey. So that is the plan from now on I'm going to absolutely be a pessimist, so I'm always delightfully suprised. I'll Never think about my future because then I will never have to think about how my life didn't turn out as planned. I will NEVER be suprised ever again by having my face crapped on.
I am familiar with the old 1990’s film that shows the life of a clueless Beverly Hills GIRL. But that is not fair. If you wanted to make a movie that truly could be called Clueless it would need to be about a BOY, not a girl.
The question on my mind is: WHY ARE BOYS SO CLUELESS? Why is it that they have the ability to crush your spirit, hurt your feelings, and in general make you feel over looked, and then can smile at you and start joking around about the latest movie (book, song, show, game, whatever is their thing)?
It is times like these that I curse God for making me absolutely not attracted to women. Life would be so much easier with women. Wait! Scratch that then I would have to put up with moods, Lilith fair, and the complete chaos of never being able to properly answer those double-edged questions such as “Do you think she is prettier than me?” as a blatantly better looking girl walks by. No, dating women would not be the answer.
But I still hate how completely oblivious boys are. Maybe since I am not willing to switch to the other metaphoric team I should just give up on being on a team all together. I could join plants, worms, and Paula Pondstone and become asexual. At 21 should I just turn in my gear and walk a way from “the game”? I know I had friends whose parents told them to stop playing if they weren’t having fun, that could be the answer. Or maybe I need to stick with how my mom raised me, you fall down, fail, everyone kicks you and you are suppose to stand up put on your best half-hearted smile and shake it off. Sometimes I wish I could return to the simplicity of a little league game instead of this grown up “game” of relationships.
