Life's Plan

Have you ever had one of those moments in life where you thought to yourself. Man My life did not turn out the way I thought it would. I seem to have those alot. But this morning I had a big one of those realizations. I was tailing a cow this morning, that is when you hold up the cow's tail because it makes them more complacent and makes it so they can't kick. Well if you can't already visualize it, if I'm having to fight a cow to keeps it's tail up that means that I'm lookin' her straight in the ass. So when one of these lovely ladies decided to crap on my face,I thought Man my life did not turn out how I thought it would. If you had told me growing up or even in high school that in the summer of my 21st year I would be having a cow crap on my face at 7 in the morning I would have laughed at you. But here we are and I sure enough got crapped on my face. So I'm going to stop thinking my life is going to be so grand, cuz then the next time I'm standing there with crap on my face I won't be so suprised. Maybe I should expect bad things because then life will give me good. So if I expect to die young I'll live til I'm old. If I expect to never find the love of my life he will come a knockin' on my door. And if I expect to be poor I'll end up with Bill Gates kind of money honey. So that is the plan from now on I'm going to absolutely be a pessimist, so I'm always delightfully suprised. I'll Never think about my future because then I will never have to think about how my life didn't turn out as planned. I will NEVER be suprised ever again by having my face crapped on.