Duck Gang Bang

I need to explain MSU right now. We have this river that runs through campus that pretty much seperates old campus and new campus. It is a nasty, nasty river called the Red Cedar. I guess the river used to freeze over and that is where our hockey team would play. With Global Warming and all it, never really freezes over. So the Ducks never really feel the need to do that Migrate to the south thing I'm assuming they used to do. So there is a freakish amount of ducks around here, and ducks that aren't afraid of people at all. I will lock eyes with them and they can sense that I'm afraid of birds and just trying to put on a brave front, and I can tell they do. not. fear. me.So anyways after running for my life from the ducks today I remember one time a couple summers ago when I was walking along the Red Cedar and saw a duck Gang Bang. Seriously it was a gang bang! There were three bright and colorful boy ducks who kept circling the poor brown girl duckand would push her down and do the giggity giggity giggity. And then get off, circle her again and another one would do it. Me and about 4 or 5 other people were standing there watchingit, all kind of looking at each other to see if we should do something. None of us did of course. I ended up having to go to class. But anytime people think I'm weird for being afraid of the ducks I give them a look that lets them know I have seen the horror of ducks' dark souls.