Carol Bontekoe

This blog has been keeping track of my adventures since 2004. The stories and the adventures have come from my college dorm room to Uganda, Peace Corps Kyrgyzstan, learning Dutch in the Netherlands to living in the wilds of Homer, Alaska. I went back to school in Amsterdam to study Theaterwetenschap (Theatre Science) at University of Amsterdam. And now my adventures as a Fruit Fly, a Sexy Unicorn, and creating a movement with Team Sparkle in Chicago.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

quotas and Karaoke Nemesis

It's Friday night and I'm in. I'm in because I want to be in, yet I feel like I should be out. Sometimes when Friday/Saturday roll around I feel like I NEED to be out, even if I have no desire to be out at a smoky bar. It is my inner insecure 15 year old girl screaming at me to go out. That old idea that you need to be out on a Friday and Saturday night or you aren't popular. I'm 25 and single with no kids so maybe I should still have that philosophy, the thing is I usually have a 2 day going out quota. As long as I go out two days in the week I feel like I have a social life going. Most of my life two nights in the week was all I had available to go out.
Tomorrow I'll be out all day for hopefully a very fun day so that is 1 day out. On Thursday I saw The Reader(see below) on Tuesday I went to Condom Craft Night(see further below) and on Monday I went out and defeated my Karaoke Nemesis. So, quota for the week has already been met.
Oh, did I mention a Karaoke Nemesis?
Why yes I did.
I tried to slip it in but I see you caught that.
If you are a regular reader you will remember my Karaoke Nemesis.
If you are new to reading my blog click on the title to this post and you can read about the beginning of this rivalry.
After Michigan State's devastating loss to North Carolina on Monday I wasn't ready to just call it a night and head home and sulk. First my friend Jana and I went out and had the best burger I have had since moving to Alaska. Than I was able to talk her into going to Karaoke with me. I had to finally face-off with Dax, the man that dared to tell me I don't know crazy karaoke.
I promised Jana I would only sing one song and than we could go. I almost believed it myself. But karaoke is like chips you can't just stop at one. I eventually roped in Jana's friend Tex(who is from Washington) to sing some songs to prolong the karaoking Madness.mwhahahaha
okay I went to a Count from Sesame Street place for a second.
The thing is the Karaoke was far from madness. It was also far from crazy. It was regular. When I got my shot to take over the microphone I knew I had to rock it. I have been toying with the idea of adding "The Distance" by Cake into my repertoire, but for my first song I had to go with one I knew I could rock. Dax is known for cutting off people and changing their songs and kicking them off stage if they aren't good singers. He had also kind of blown me off before it all started when I said I had come to do some karaoke. I ended up opening with, no surprise, Build Me up Buttercup. The crowd went wild, again no surprise. After I finished Dax said, "Wow! We need more people like Carol!"
Point for me.
I didn't sign up for a second song because I really did intend to stick to my promise of one song. Eventually there was a point where no one was signed up for a song. How does that happen at the craziest karaoke in the world? Because Dax was being heckled(mostly from my table-not by me I was stony silent-Tex and Jana let him have it) he decided not to sing another cheesy song where he changes the words to be about Homer. He eventually found his way over to my table. And got me to sing again. I feel he was trying to embarrass me. To try and reclaim some power. I agreed. Bring it. A Ms. Sara Lutz signed me up for "I Believe I Can Fly" once and I brought it. He played "Don't Stop Believin'" Can't embarrass me with a song that I have rocked many a time.
I had a Michigan State Shirt on with a "Go State!" sign on the back of my shirt. When I did the "From south Detroit" part I turned so the crowd could read my "Go State" sign. And than I did it again at the "Some will Lose" and had a really sad face... Still I rocked the shit out of that song.
Point for me.
After I was all done Dax proclaimed, "Carol where have you been? We need you here all the time!"
Point for me!
And in your face be-otch!
I got Tex to sing "Friends in Low places" by himself and than talked him into doing "Bohemian Rhapsody" with . Dax said this was a sacrificial song, a song that people glutton for punishment sing.
Guess what Tex and I did? Yeah We totally rocked it.
I'm giving myself 5 points for that.
IT was getting time to leave and I just want to sing "Sweet Caroline" a song I never get to sing. Tex needed to go and I got him to agree to stay through an insanely drunk girl's rendition of "Dirty Deeds" if we went right after her. I went up to chat with Dax about getting in one more song. He said he could do it but I had to do something for him. He than puffed out his cheek and tapped on it. I acted as if I haven't had creepy old men all over the world give me this move. My eyes got all big and became glazed over with question marks.
"Ummm, ahhh" I then puffed out my cheeks and pretended to be a blow fish.
He looked at me and then said, "Do you want the song? Cuz you gotta do something for me."
I tightened up my face and did it.
Damn you Dax! You brought me down a peg.
Point for Dax.
He tries to pull that shit again I'm out of there.
Tex and I did rock it good enough to get the one man left in the audience to applaud.
So I take back my point. Karaoke Nemesis... I don't feel I can call you that anymore. You suck and I'm pretty amazing.And I'm really modest about my skills. It's beneath me to have you as a nemesis. You think that it is all about the voice and as I have preached to people all over the world, Karaoke has nothing to do with your voice but the show you put on. This was far from crazy karaoke. To me crazy karaoke is Crunchy's right before our whole table gets kicked out because Sara is kicking someone, Tom keeps singing with people who don't want his help, and I like to show people how fast I can drink by using their drinks to demonstrate. It's giant sing-a-longs. Dax. You don't know what I've seen. And how hard I can rock it, I half assed it for ya! But my friend Sam is coming, so I'll be back. And I will destroy you again.


  1. becky said...

    i've never done karaoke before, and after reading this post, i've decided that i am going to save my karaoke virginity for you.

  2. becky said...


    "I like to show people how fast I can drink by using their drinks to demonstrate."

    HAHAHAHA... so you.

  3. Anonymous said...

    I've had a rough couple of days and reading this made me smile. I don't think I've gotten to the point where I'm kicking people at bars and getting kicked out of bars in a LONNNNNNG time. Maybe that's a good thing??? Either way it makes me feel old! haha.
    I'm glad you put your 'nemesis' in his place...I knew you would and I was patiently waiting for the story of when you did...and here it is! Obviosuly this man knows nothing about highly crazy, out of control,and ridiculous karaoke....not like your State peeps lke me!!:)
    PS: I signed you up for "I believe I can fly" because at that point in the night I was probably so drunk that I actually believed you COULD fly...hahah.
    Miss ya girlie!


  4. caitlin said...

    i am tearing up like a blubbering proud mother reading this.

    becky i haven't done karaoke either, just cheered carol on from the side lines a la stage mom. we should definitely take care of this fact.

    i remember you and sam doing 'i believe i can fly' and the gay men cheering you on as you sang 'it's raining men', but i missed out on too many of those fab karaoke moments...i want to see sara kick somebody again.