Gebarentaal- Dutch Sign Language

If you wanan learn how to do the alphabet in Dutch Sign Language here is a nice video to help you visualize:

Holidays

Sinterklaas arrived in Amsterdam today. That means the Holiday season is here.

Here is one of my favorite Stand-up Comics talking about Holidays.




I miss that midwestern sense of humor.

Untitled Amsterdam

Aesthetics of Colour

An Exploration in color... or to use some of my snobby academia- Aesthetics of Colour

Flirting with Books

I by no means of the imagination have any flirting skills. If I find myself attempting to flirt I panic, become very embarressed and avoid the guy for eternity. He probably just thinks I'm being weird, loud and sweaty- as usual.

When I find a guy flirting with me I become totally creeped out. I begin to wonder what is wrong with him? And what happened in his life that has lead him to the point where he is flirting with me? Did he have a head trauma as a child? I become rude and annoyed by these guys.

So, you can understand my suprise when lately I have found myself doing some flirting of my own. The biggest suprise is with who...er..what I'm flirting with. Lately I have found myself flirting with books.

See I have absolutely no money thanks to the amazing Dutch Banking system that I find myself trapped by. So, instead of just avoiding bookstores I end up hanging around them flirting with books I can't have.

If there is a piece of lint on them I sweetly brush it away. I look it up and down complementing its well chosen cover. And if things go really well I find myself fingering through it for the next hour.

I'm a bit of a tease with how much I come back to the bookstore and the time I spend with an individual book- I can see why they think they would get to come home with me. However, after I have had my fun and gotten some free reading in I end up going home alone. Back to the book I have waiting for me at home. Even when I'm laying in bed with my book I lay there imagining how much better it would be with the book from the store. To run my eyes over its un-doggy tagged pages. My eyes gazing from right to left and up and down. To slowly turn the pages with a lick of the finger and than a soft touch. Than I fall asleep with the book on my pillow just to dream- dreams of another.

A walking stereotype.

Today we had to do an exercise on stereotypes. People wrote their stereotypes of a country and then they posted it under the name of that country. Countries like Latvia and Hungary were a little sparse. The United Kingdom was quite full, however I wrote about half of them: "Tea Drinkers", "Fancy themselves something special"and "Colonized the world in order to get some descent food" were just some of my beauties. I some how forgot bad teeth.
I was very surprised that when it came to America's turn that people started to clap. They were excited for us to address our stereotypes,since I would say Americans and Germans have the most unflattering stereotypes of any nations. I truly feel America is the only country in the world that EVERYONE in the world has some kind of opinion about.
There were three of us Americans, all very different. The first girl to speak is very tiny, always wears scarves, and when she talks she keeps her hands clenched in front of her unless to make a point she uses quotation mark fingers. She openly talks about how much she hates America and how embarrassing it is for her to have an American accent. Because of how tiny she is, the demeanor and her scarves she can blend into the scenery quite easily. She almost seems like she is hiding. She does not stand out at all. She finds it a high compliment to be told that she does not look American. She spoke first that the idea of Americans being fat, loud, and dumb is completely untrue. She said this with her back to me. Whether she did it consciously or unconsciously, she did it, and than tried to make the other girl in the group speak so as no one would notice the American Cliche standing directly behind her. I wasn't going to say anything but when she was so clearly trying to keep me out of it what could I do but be an obnoxious American and speak my mind? I said well I can see where these stereotypes come from since I am more or less all of the stereotypes. I even voted for Obama("Yes we can" and Obama were listed as stereotypes- I don't know how they are stereotypical.)
See even though I am the very embodiment of the American Stereotype I would say the other American girl that is running from being an American is re-enforcing these stereotypes more than I am. For an American to openly be saying, "Oh, I hate saying I'm from America. I hate my accent. I left and I'm never going back... ugh Americans(eye roll)" These things make people believe that these negative ideas of America are true and that they are justified in what they say about America. I find it irresponsible to push people towards thinking negatively of America.
I do not have the luxury of distancing myself from America at all costs. I'm American. Even if I am wearing the national dress of a country I am American. People can point to me from a distance a declare that I am American. Actually it has only been in the past month I have been perceived as anything other than American-most Dutch people at my university think I am South African, blame that on my DUTCH last name. I don't live abroad because I am trying to escape my homeland. I live abroad because of a fear of commitment- if I move to any place in the lower 48 than I'll be there for the rest of my life. For adventure. To learn about others cultures. On the side I try to re-educate people in their perception of America. Maybe I am what you think of as Typical American- even though in America I am far from typical. But am I really so bad? Am I really worth hate and anger towards Americans in general. I have often been told by people abroad that I am the first American they ever liked, all the others are horrible. That is when I have to ask, "Do you know any other Americans? No? We really aren't that bad. Some are. I will give you some suck; but that is true for every country, city, village, school, and family."
If you happen to be horrible behaving, uneducated, fat, ignorant, loud, conservative, who didn't have any fun till you were 21 and you are starting unjust wars-maybe you should say you are Canadian. But for those Americans living and traveling abroad who are educated,who try to learn the language, who know some geography- don't be afraid to say you are American. Own it. Help the world see that we are more than just the stereotypes. Even us stereotypical Americans need to show that those stereotypes are just the surface of wonderfully complex culture and country.

My4th of July party in Oudemirdum Friesland, Netherlands summer 2008. Showed everyone the best part of the 4th of July the parade and candy.

Spacebar

Iattemptedtocleanmylaptop.Forthemostpartitwentwell,
exceptnowI'mgettingthefeelingmyspacebardoesn'tworkverywell.

3 Random things in Amsterdam

These are three random things I saw around Amsterdam that basically make no sense to me.
The first is this cement dog sitting on a bridge. It is made to look like a bobble head from a distance but once I got next to it I saw you couldn't smack it in the head to make it bobble. So, what is the point? And why is it on the bridge? And on top of that there were actually two of them, the other was across the street.

Secondly in the self-proclaimed gayest city in Europe(and trust me they have competition) I still find this to be pretty gay. Not in the how stupid is that, but in the man on man love kind of gay. This is a "Rockin' Sailor" for children outside of a barber shop. Yes, cuz there is nothing cuter than putting little Johnny on top of a sailor to rock around with while men get their hair done.





And lastly a thing (thing because I have no actual words for it) that lead American Shock Comedian Doug Stanhope to say, "You don't need me here. My sense of humor is useless on people who have something like this for children to play in."
This bikini clad dismembered body lies in Oud Zuid the richest, poshest, and apparently most over the top part of town. This sits in a park near a school. It is for children to run around in- for fun. The door on the severed leg is open but you can see in the left hand corner how the doors are made to look like the insides of a human- the way they would look if the arms, legs, and head of a women at the beach had all been chopped off.
Oh, Amsterdam, I can't explain thee.




So Gay!

Elephant Parade

Right now in Amsterdam there is a parade going on. An elephant parade.
Spread out over the city are over a 100 elephants, decorated by varying artists and celeberities. They are to raise money for Elephant Family, the largest Elephant charity in the world. They are a nice addition to the character of the city.












Click on the title of this entery if you want to learn more about the elephant parade or donate to the cause.

My bedding

It took me a while to get my housing situation organized here in Amsterdam. De Key is the organization that international students get their housing from. When you are at De Key paying your rent and signing your lease they offer you some bedding for and additional 30 euros. I have to say I got suckered in because I was exhausted from trying to find a place and De Key dicking me around that I agreed to the 30 euro bedding. It all came in a small carrying box. That should have been a sign that it wouldn't be good.It is literally the cheapest bedding you can buy from IKEA. I spent 30 euros and when I got my IKEA catalogue I found my bedding in the catalogue for 6 euros.
I'm mostly over bitching about the bedding. Occasionally I feel the need to vent over the fact that I paid 6 times what I should have. So, here are some photos of my bedding and how I received it.

As I laid on a bridge over prisengracht with my bike laying on top of me I realized something: I might not be able to bike as well I think I can. Especially after half a bottle of Bacardi Limon.
I had reached the point where I had no choice but to fall to the ground with my bike or run the bike into a canal. I feel I made the wise choice-as wise as you can make in that predicament.

Studying or being a Tourist

I find it a little hard to get motivated to study here in Amsterdam. For my undergraduate degree I went to Michigan State University. While the campus is absolutely beautiful and the student body is an exciting and interesting group of people, it isn't exactly a tourist hot spot. Touristy things that can be done there are going to the Cheese Store, seeing a sporting event- if you can get tickets, and... well everyone over 21 should go to Crunchy's once.
Amsterdam on the other hand has tourist attractions out the wa-zoo. The museums, concerts, boat rides around the canals, theater, markets and so on; all saying, "Come on Carol. Go for a walk. Read this. Look at that. Smell that... Oh,no smelling that was a bad decision." All of this makes thinking about studying a little difficult. Sometimes I can combine my tourist in me with the student in me, like on a sunny day doing my reading in museumplein and go to plays as research for school. Sometimes, though the need to be a tourist in the city I live in overwhelms me and I need to go exploring. Yesterday I tagged along with couple other Student-Americans as we went to Vondelpark, the House of Bols, checked out the I AMsterdam sign, and ate and drank in museumplein. It was a really nice and lovely day, but now I need to get to studying to make up for my time as a tourist.

Dutch Logic

Over time the Brits have come up with many terms using the word 'Dutch'. Often it is used in terms playing on negative stereotypes of the Dutch people.
Such phrases as:
Going Dutch or Dutch Treat- each person participating in an activity pays for himself or herself. So, gals it a guy asks you if you want a Dutch Treat sweetly decline.
Dutch Uncle- a person who issues frank, harsh, and severe comments and criticism to educate, encourage, or admonish someone.
Dutch Wife- a prostitute, Sex Doll, Water Bottle... more or less a substitute for a real wife in bed.
Dutch Courage- courage that is gained from drinking alcohol. I recently helped a girl I know get some Dutch Courage to jump the European Boy she is seeing(read: because he is European he is waiting for her to make the first move) by taking 5 jager shots on the street in about 8 minutes.
Dutch Oven- a pot you cook with that has a cover on top of it. A Dutch Oven can also be when someone farts and than traps someone else under the covers creating an enclosed stinky-ass area. It's truly one of the classiest things you can do to a loved one.
Out of all of these phrases I find Dutch Uncle to be the most telling and true for the Dutch people. People are always giving me really harsh advice here in order to help me. Glad I was an athlete most of my life so it doesn't phase me... too much.
While all of these phrases are great I would like to propose one more 'Dutch' word to be added to the list:
Dutch Logic- the complete lack of logic in any traditional or contemporary sense of the word.
I have come up with this term after three weeks of trying to get my excessive amounts of paper work that I need to live and study here in Amsterdam.
The latest predicament Dutch Logic has trapped me in is the need for health insurance. I am fine with getting Health Insurance here, it's actually affordable, the only problem is Dutch Logic. I need to get a residence permit to legally live, study, and work here. I need health insurance to get my residence permit. However, when I went to apply for health insurance it said I needed my residence permit to get health insurance... wait what?
I need a residence permit to get health insurance and I need health insurance to get my residence permit.
There is Dutch Logic for ya.
I have one more word Dutch Work Ethic but that'll have to be saved for another time. The Dutch with their 30 hour work weeks and the amazing ability to pass the blame onto just about anyone else sending me to 40 different places to get one simple thing done. Again, for another time. Ik wil een biertje.

Hurt Feelings

I was being very middle school today and had hurt feelings because I felt left out of the cool group in the theatre dept. I came home put on flight of the conchords and this song came up and it mademe laugh so hard and get over my hurt feelings :)

across the way

I have the habit of making uncomfortbaly long eye contact with people I shouldn't be making eye contact with, and than not looking people I should in the eye. I haven't had to walk past prostitutes too often- just on Wednesdays after class. I did however make the mistake of making eye contact with one gal who was trying to get a guy to come into her kamer. She than proceed to try and chat me up. I snapped out of my creepy eye contact and kept trudging along.
Well, last night I realized the woman sitting right across the way from me on the tram was the same prostitute I had made that unfortunate eye contact with. I knew it was her yet I again stared inappropriately till she looked up and we made eye contact AGAIN! That is when I really decided to focus on the beautiful city going past me.
For a major city Amsterdam is not that big. I re-run into people all the time, but I hadn't fully thought it out that I would be recognizing prostitutes on the tram. You never know who you are sitting next to. That's what makes living in the city so damn fun.

My City Amsterdam

They showed us this video at my orientation for University of Amsterdam. You could spot ever American in the crowd as we all slowly slid down in our seats, popped up our collars, and combed our hair over our eyes as we glared at the floor. Bill O'Reilly is an idiot. Don't believe the false hype about this city.

Poor Man's Lobster

t's hard to believe that anything involving Halibut could have a title involving "Poor Man's", but in Alaska you get used to it. With such an abundance of Halibut and Salmon-although this year has not been a good year- around people will just give away a few filets to a poor parking attendant(*Couch*me*Couch*). They have gotten very creative about how to cook Halibut up here in Homer Alaska-the Halibut Capital of the World.

Since I caught my first fish ever a tiny(by Alaskan Standards) 25lb Halibut I wanted to treat myself and some friends to some Poor Man's Lobster.



Here's how it goes:

You get some 7up and put it in a nice tall pot. place that pot on a stove. Turn on the stove and get a nice rolling boil going.

While the 7up is boiling chop up your halibut into nice cubes.

I recomend 1 1/2 inch cubes... but to be honest any size is fine.

Drop your halibut cubes into the boiling 7up.

Wait till they have cooked enough that they are floating on the top(give them a lil time at the top) than scoop them out.

Melt some butter.

Pour the butter on top and...

ta da

a yummy yummy meal that sort of tastes like Lobster- Use Real butter(look for the Real Seal) and you can never go wrong.

I hope you enjoy this Alaskan Treat.

I know my science nerd friends and I enjoyed it.

Changing the subject

Back in Michigan when I wanted to change the subject I would simply say, "So, how about them Tigers." The statement was invariably followed with the other person yelling, "Fuck yeah the Tigers! Love those guys!" The subject would move on to a greatly detailed account of how great the Tigers are.
In Alaska this doesn't work too well. Someone will be ranting on about some uncomfortable subject and I try to change it by saying, "How about them Tigers." I will meet their blank gaze, watch them blink, and than listen as they say, "um yeah sure- Tigers? So, Back to what I was saying-...
For Alaskans the Tigers just won't cut it. People up here come from all over the place. They are people who couldn't take being told what to do, that's how you end up in Alaska. The one thing that can make any Alaskan change the subject is: Hippies.
Whether someone is old or young, rich or poor, conservative or liberal they all have very strong feelings about the overpopulation of Hippies up here. I will just yell out, "HIPPIES!" A conservative my might follow it up with, "Fucking Hippies..." A liberal with, "I love how many there are up here. The yurts they live in are cool..." I even find myself getting caught in my own subject change, "Old hippies who stuck with the principals they believe in cool. Great. At least they show that they have dedication to the cause. Neo-Hippies- any one under 58 trying to live the hippie lifestyle- I can't stand!" Most people, even the most conservative people, seem to agree with me and the uncomfortable topic of how to gut a moose has been changed.

Working the job not letting the job work me

Last Wednesday was the lowest tide of the year. I was able to talk the higher ups at the police dept into letting me take a friend along in the ATV. My friend Howard is a Naturalist. He came with me to show me all the cool life that can be seen during a low tideI went from never having seen a Sea Star(commonly known as a Sea Fish) to having seen about 50.. I wore flip-flops(like always) while we walked along slick slippery rocks. I ended up biting it on a large rock. So, after Howard and I had walked a ways out on the slick rocks I tried to be smart and walk back to the shore on a sandbar. The sandbar eventually stopped and I tried to wade through what I thought was shallow water. It turned out I made my walk back to shore twice as hard as my walk out. I had to walk through nearly chest high water on top of slick rock with a huge amount of sea weed pulling me down. When I finally arrived to the shore with Howard and a couple that wanted tomake sure I didn't die(although who would they have called to save me? I'm the beach patrol.) were standing there watching me. I could feel my legs getting slashed open on the rocks, but it was so cold that it didn't really hurt. When I came out of the water I started to bleed everywhere. Howard and I walked back to the ATV I was muddy and bloody. There were a bunch of school children near by so Howard brought over a sun star to show them. I came with him and acted as if I didn't notice that my leg was completely red from the blood. .
I can only hope the children learned as much about sea stars that day as I did. And that they will remember that day as the day they saw a boat wreck survior walk onto the beach-not just some crazy stubborn lady who took the worst possible route to the beach.

Rose you coming?

I just have to start out by saying I got a really good deal. Excellent in fact. I'm not one of those people with designer labels to show off. I have designer knock-offs and still like to brag about how cheap I got my wanna-be Dolce & Gabbana glasses in Mexico.
Recently at a garage sale to help the fire dept I got a TV for 50 cents! I was reluctant to buy it because we have no cable and it had a built in VHS player- I don't have any VHS anymore. The ladies were desperate to get rid of the last few things they had so they said they would throw in a box of VHS with the TV for another 50 cents. I looked through the box- I tossed aside Titanic and Ace Ventura and noticed Sleepless in Seattle and You've Got Mail. Sold! Sweatin' to the Oldies and the Baywatch movie- double sold!
I was so excited to have something to watch. I watched You've Got Mail and Sleepless in Seattle to the point that it wasn't fun to watch them anymore. I decided I should go through my big box of VHS and watch something else. The two tapes of Titanic were glaring at me. Refusing to be ignored. All I could remember of the movie was that I didn't like it, it was long, the music annoying and right before she pries his hand off of her and drops him in the ocean Rose says, "I'll never let go."
oh, and Kathy Bates is in it somewhere and the dude from Twister.
I felt it was time, after 12 years, to give the movie a second chance. I ended up watching the movie with my roomie Liz and my friend Christi. Our reaction to the film was considerably different than what it was 12 years earlier. Although I was an angry and bitter 13 year old when the movie came out I was not yet a jaded-single-female. A women who has dated and loved her share of losers. At 13 I just thought the movie was kinda stupid. Now at 25 I am 8 years older than what the main character-Rose is suppose to be in the movie. Now I just wanted to give her some tips about relationships. My friend Christi is a bit younger and nicer than my older roommate Liz and I. Christi briefly tried to defended Jack and Rose's love. Liz and I shouted our life lessons at the 50 cent screen.
"He's GAY Rose!"
"Married. Married with two children back in Wisconsin!"
"He is a male prostitute for the men shoveling coal in the bottom of the boat."
"Rose, come on! He "hung out" with French Prostitutes. He just gave you chlamydia!"
Again I don't really remember what I yelled at the screen 12 years ago but I'm 98% sure none of these made it. Especially since thanks to the movie Sleepers and my cousin Kent reading the Swedish Subtitles I had only learned what a BJ was a month before I saw the movie. Although later on that year I learned a lot more about BJs thanks to the GOP being obsessed with Clinton's love life and cable news networks.
Twelve years ago I had no idea why she would jump back on the boat. Why would she be so willing to die with him? I finally figured it out after a long debate over whether or not Rose came in the back of the car. We said he was probably a two pump chump. Than I realized she must have come. There is no way a girl would jump back on to a sinking ship for some guy who didn't make her come.
Yeah, for the jaded-single-twentysomething-female of the 21st century this idea of a innocent love worth dieing for doesn't make sense. Than you remind yourself it's a movie... Rose is only suppose to be 17. SEVENTEEN! What the heck does she know?
Your best love stories are the short ones. There the only ones that don't get jaded with the truth of time.

Carol

I think I have finally come up with the most narcissistic thing that someone can do. I think it is making love to a bunch of songs with your name in it. There are some songs named Carol... most of them revolving around how great the girl named Carol is. Put together they make about a 25 minute playlist.
That got me thinking that would make a perfect gettin' it on playlist... till the creepiness of wanting to do that sunk in.

Oh, yeah baby... want me to get you in the mood? Marvin Gaye? No we don't have that.... But I do have a selection of songs that feature my name. What do you mean, what do I mean? They are all songs about a girl named Carol. No they're good songs... What's weird about that? Why are you getting dressed?

Maybe I won't be do that anytime soon.
But I can dream that someday I'll find someone who loves me as much as I love myself so we can make love to a song that includes the lyrics:
Oh Carol I think it's time for running for cover
Believe me, you're everyone's and nobody's lover

while looking up lyrics to Carol songs I noticed that Chuck Berry says:
Oh Carol don't let HIM steal your heart away
yet The Rolling Stones remake says:
Oh Carol don't let HER steal your heart away.
Why GOD?!
Why is there always the implication that I'm a lesbain.... maybe doing it to songs named Carol wouldn't be as great as I imagined.

Dax is still my karaoke Nemesis

I'm going to skip right past the fact that I will turn in 4 sheets for 4 different songs and than Dax will have the balls to come up to me and say, "You going to sing tonight?" And still not call me!
No that would be petty to point out these kind of things.

Dax decided to make fun of Susan Boyle tonight. He put on an ugly dress and a bra with a ugly wig. Than he made fun of the fact that the video of Susan Boyle singing I Dreamed the Dream(see below if you haven't seen the video yet)got over 9 million hits in less than a month. I guess it didn't cross his mind that it has been watched so many times because people are pulling for Susan Boyle. So, he proceeded to sing I dreamed the dream terribly and grabbing himself inappropriately the whole time. I think when no one is laughing along with you grabbing your junk is the most desperate move ever.
The tension in the bar was thick. In one swoop he totally changed the mood of the bar. I have only ever been in that uncomfortable of a mood in a bar once before. In California when a comic-who used to be on SNL- kept saying the N word over and over again. People asked him to stop but he kept going and saying N this N that. I feel it should be mentioned that comic is white.
I guess it hadn't crossed Dax's mind that the people in the bar can only hope to be like Susan Boyle someday. There are some AMAZING singers at karaoke here in Homer. I think they hope that someday they can go to a talent competition and over night become an international sensation.
You could feel that people wanted to boo him. There was just one problem with that- he gets to decide who sings next. So, what can you do? Just sit silently. Turn your back, like I and many other people did.
All I can say is go ahead Susan do your thing! And to all the Homerites: isn't Dax a total Douche Nasal?

That's just how I feel.

I love Nick Drake.
I just want to get that off my chest before typing-I can't listen to Nick Drake.
His music makes me too sad. Too moody. I often refer to his music as Melancholy music(I like to feel as if I'm in a Shakespearean play sometimes)
The definition of Melancholy from Merriam-Webster is:
1 a: an abnormal state attributed to an excess of black bile and characterized by irascibility or depression b: black bile c: melancholia
2 a: depression of spirits : dejection b: a pensive mood

A depression of spirits...Definitely... In case you are like me and have no idea what that Black Bile stuff is all about I looked it up:
Black Bile- a humor of medieval physiology believed to be secreted by the kidneys or spleen and to cause melancholy
If you are like me you want to move past this, because you still have no idea.
anyway...

I feel that the fact that I feel Melancholy while listening to his music is a testament to how amazing his music really is. He killed himself when he was my age and when you listen to the music you can see why and if you listen to it for too long you start to contemplate it yourself. That's AWESOME! That means he was so good he got you to truly feel what he was going through.

The thing is I can listen to really melancholy music, I just need it jazzed up a bit. I love music that has a jazzy beat and has just the saddest lyrics. One of my favorite examples of this kind of music is Blind Melon's No Rain.
With its little snaps and wooooooooooooooooooo oo oo oo ooooooooooooooooooo oo oo oo ooooooooooooooo and cool 90's sound it's easy to over look lyrics like:

And I don't understand why I sleep all day
And I start to complain that there's no rain
or
Its not sane......it's not sane

The latter goes on for a long time of him singing its not sane
That's quite sad. Yet if I hear this song in the bar I'm singing right along snappin' with one hand holding my beer in the other.

I have tons of examples but I will just give one more:
Stephen Stills-Love the One You're With
It so upbeat sounding that you can't help but bop and jive(bop and jive...what am I sixty?) along with the music. Once you start actually listening to the lyrics it is so sad. It's all about settling for someone.

Don’t be angry, don’t be sad, and don’t sit cryin’ over good times you’ve had. There’s a girl right next to you, and she’s just waitin’ for something to do.
and the most famous part
and if you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with.

Sometimes when I hear this song I imagine a couple sitting together in the car and this song comes up. The man turns up the music and looks at the girl and says, "Yep, definitely. This should be our wedding song"

Pot Luck Wednesday

On Wednesday nights my friends and I get together to have a pot luck. They are held at my soon to be apartment. There is nothing really in the apartment because Liz(my soon to be roomie) and myself have been living out of backpacks for years.
Today Liz ran out of paper towels. I had for gotten my towel at the apartment Saturday night. When I showed up to the pot luck tonight I noticed my towel sitting on a kitchen counter. I moved it over and way from the counter since that is my end of my shower towel. Sitting near the food we were about to eat and being used to dry off the dish we were about to eat from didn't seem right.
I hadn't noticed that Liz had taken back the towel to the kitchen area. Our token boy Max was using the towel to dry off his hands. I asked, "Is that my towel?" Liz reluctantly said that it is my towel.
"Why is it back in the kitchen?"
No answer.
That's when I decided to say a real party killing sentence.
"I USE THAT TO DRY OFF MY NAKED BODY. ALL OF IT!"
Max decided to put down the towel and re-wash his hands.
Bathroom towels and kitchen towels are not interchangable things.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

To my great scrabble/boggle buddy. My mom!

Flickr

I love Flickr. I admit it. I think Flickr is the best of all the photo websites. Since I am someone who needs constant validation Flickr is right up my alley.
On Flickr you can post your photos within different groups. Than other people can give you "awards". The "awards" give me an inflated sense of myself.
I don't just get to receive awards I also get to give Awards away. The power is intoxicating. I get to bestow awards upon others. Decide whether their photos are worthy of me copying and pasting an award in the comment box.
Lately I've been given a daily project to do each day. My friend Becky asked me to do a 365 day self portrait challenge with her. I love it. It makes sure I take my camera with me and I'm always looking for different ways to take a picture of myself. Today is my 12th. What will I decide to take a picture of myself doing? I don't know yet. That's what makes it so much fun. I think I do a pretty good job updating this blog, I have to say I do a GREAT job updating my self portraits. So, if you just aren't getting enough of me here you can get even more of me through my self-portraits.


These are my friend Becky's Self Portraits. They are pretty amazing:


My friend MAndy also decided that this looked like fun and got in on the fun too. Her photos are awesomely artsy:

I love the difference between all of our Self Portraits. It think it shows the differences in all of our personalities, the way we see the world, and ourselves.
Who else wants to get involved? It's fun! :)

Something is wrong with this story.

I checked out a new church today. So long as I have been living in Homer, AK I have been attending the United Methodist Church. There is a slight age discrepancy between me and the majority of the congregation. A mere 40-50 years difference. I often feel a bit isolated and alone within the church. I arrive alone, I sit alone, and than after church during fellowship hour I stand alone with a plate full of cheese. One step away from literally being the cheese stands alone.
A couple weeks ago I talked three friends into going with me. Than last week as I was crafting away one of my friends who had visited my church made some jokes about the age difference. Another friend suggested I come and check out her church that is held in the gym of an elementary school in town. She informed me that it is a bit more youthnized.
I told me pastor and some others last night that I would be checkin' out the "Rock Church" in town. They said that was good and I should check out the church.
Well, umph.
If you aren't going to even put up a fight for your only 20/30/40 something within the church than I will go and check it out.
The "Rock Church" has all the hip elements of the groovy new churches. A Rock Band, Lighting, a projector, pastors that are middle aged but dress like moody emo teenagers(i.e. Rob Bell). All of it.
The thing is I have no idea what the pastor's message was. None what so ever. Yet, his sermon might be one of the all time most memorable sermons I have ever heard.
There was something about Leviticus in there but the part I will remember was a story from his youth. When he was 14 he was driving across country with his uncle and cousin. This is when he had his first driving experience. His uncle asked him if he wanted to sit on his lap and drive.
wait...
what?
No. That can't be right.
I looked around. People weren't looking in disgust and whispering. That just led me to believe they weren't really paying attention. I turned to my friend Liz and she started laughing too. She was listening.
He was 14... and his uncle let him sit on his lap and drive. We aren't talking about a 7 year old. At 14 while you might not be fully grown you surely don't have to sit on someone lap to drive. Heck, farm kids can get certain kinds of licenses at 13. I was 6' by the age of 10. My brothers were driving the car to school around the same age, until the school called me mom. I have no plans on asking my nieces and nephews to sit on my lap and drive when they are teenagers. How did they even fit?
I couldn't listen to anything else. I was just thinking that his uncle was wildly inappropriate and he doesn't even seem to realize it. Neither did the couple hundred people sitting in this little gym. And why at 14 wasn't he aware that your uncle asking you to sit on his lap is not okay. What about his cousin? His Uncle's son sitting there in the car? Was no one aware how inappropriate this whole thing was?! Why is he telling us this?! IS he trying to be funny about a molesting uncle?!
No one else seemed to be as tramatized by what he had said as I clearly was. I tried to make up reasons for why a 14 year old would sit in his uncles lap to drive. Reasons that people must be telling themselves so no one has to deal with this extremely revealing story. He was tiny. Teeny...Tiny...Itsy...bitsy. That's it. Until he was in his 20s people thought he was a midget. Yeah... than he had this freakish growth spirt where suddenly he caught up to everyone else. And now no one ever knows except, when he tells his sitting-on-his-uncle's-lap-at-14 story, that he used to be a teeny weeny teenager.
Sure.
That has to be it!
I can pay attention again.
Oh, Sermon is over.
Ready for some Bon Jovi-esque Christian Rockin'.
I'm totally going again. You never know what weird hidden detail from his past we will try to just clip in next week.

Settling in

I finally got to play Settlers of Catan tonight. I have been waiting ever since I moved to Alaska to get someone to play with me.
I got 4 people to play with me in fact. Don't want to brag but I'm pretty hip around here with the 50+ crowd.
At church tonight there was a game night and since I have been waiting 5 cold months to play Settlers I had to bring it along. It's weird trying to get people to play games around here. During the winter everyone says it's too cold to go anywhere. Than once it gets nice out it's too nice to go and play a board game. It never seems to be the right weather for a board game.
It was funny play with some older people. I kept being told was nothing like the games they grew up with. I was had to keep saying that's what makes this game so great. I warned them that it is highly addictive. The proof is in my friends and family who almost all own the game and play whenever thy get the chance.
Pastor Charles could easily fit in with my family when playing. He isn't got the idea of the trading and was one of the best and most aggressive traders I have ever seen. People were trying to be nice while playing. I had never experienced that. I'm used to the go for the jugular playing of 318 Elm Place and at family get-togethers.I knew Pastor Charles would like the game while we were playing Scrabble. He kept trying to trade letters, a natural Settlers player.
One of my favorite parts of coming home is playing games. ONe of the things that makes living far away, not playing games. One of the elderly ladies said she would teach me a game called sequence sometime. I'm down. I love that Homer feels more like home everyday.

timing is everything

I know I need to write about Sam's visit to Alaska. It was amazing and I had an uber good time. But when there is so much t write about I can't seem to get the focus to go ahead and do it.
I do just want to take a moment here to say that today I experienced the most perfectly timed Earthquake ever!
I was at a dinner party, Asian themed. Just anything Asian. I didn't feel like cooking so I classed it up by bringing a bottle of Sake, a box of fortune cookies, and a half eaten carrot cake that was given to me for giving a lecture about Kyrgyzstan(a country in... Asia).
The dinner was at my dance instructor's-Breezy- house. Not a dance activity but that is how I know her. The house is A-mazing! It is this beautiful wood house. Rustic with an amazing view of the bay. This is not a house for a young adult. She was telling us that the house was her grandfather's and he had died in the house. We had noticed that one of the many stuffed animals in the house was not facing the same direction it was when we had first come in. Breezy said she thinks her Grandfather is still in the house. We all joked around that he just starts moving stuff for kicks and to remind people he was still around.
All of a sudden EVERYTHING started to shake. It only last for a few seconds but it was a good size earthquake. We all sat there staring at each other. Was it an Earthquake? Or was it Grandpa trying to remind everyone he's still in charge.
We decided it was a earthquake. Realizing it was an earthquake only mildly relived the eeriness of the timing. We than realized if it's an earthquake we should look out Grandpa's giant window looking over the bay and keep on eye on the water. If it started reseeding quickly an old ghost shaking the house would be the least of our worries. For along with angry ghosts, volcanoes, and earthquakes... we also have to keep a look out for Tsunamis.
I love living in Alaska.

You NEED to watch these.

I know I normally make post of stuff I find funny and call it a day but you gotta watch this. Susan Boyle has become a sensation in the past couple of weeks out of a small village in Scotland. The link is to Susan Boyle's appearnce on Britian's Got Talent(imagine American Idol-Simon is even on it) People laughing and snickering at her. It's absurd. The arrogance to assume cuz someone doesn't fit a certain look that they must have no talent. She seems to be a simple country gal who gets confused easily... but don't let that foul ya.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnmbJzH93NU



This is a sound recording from a charity album she sang for back in 1999. I hput it on repeat for about an hour. It is fantastic!


There are tons of ugly male singers who don't live up to a cookie cutter image of beauty. It's nice to finally see a female who is steping out of her village to show you never know where talent is.

Side note about me....Cuz Ilike to bring all things back to myself. I spent a day lawn bowling in Scotland...in her home town. One of my favorite days ever.

Whad up dog?

Just wanted to post this little rap that Caitlin left me on my Facebook Wall:
they call her c to the roll, she's outta control, firstsecondthird world, got that travelin soul. / put a mic in her hand, she'll blow you awayyy, buildmeup buttercup, what more can i sayyy. / best friend you'll ever find, she'll take away your fearrrs, but mess with carolspacelynn, she gon' leave you in tearrrs. / droppin bows droppin game, all over your faaace, shotputs her life to the top, makin herself a naaame....


My homies know how I roll. :)

quotas and Karaoke Nemesis

It's Friday night and I'm in. I'm in because I want to be in, yet I feel like I should be out. Sometimes when Friday/Saturday roll around I feel like I NEED to be out, even if I have no desire to be out at a smoky bar. It is my inner insecure 15 year old girl screaming at me to go out. That old idea that you need to be out on a Friday and Saturday night or you aren't popular. I'm 25 and single with no kids so maybe I should still have that philosophy, the thing is I usually have a 2 day going out quota. As long as I go out two days in the week I feel like I have a social life going. Most of my life two nights in the week was all I had available to go out.
Tomorrow I'll be out all day for hopefully a very fun day so that is 1 day out. On Thursday I saw The Reader(see below) on Tuesday I went to Condom Craft Night(see further below) and on Monday I went out and defeated my Karaoke Nemesis. So, quota for the week has already been met.
Oh, did I mention a Karaoke Nemesis?
Why yes I did.
I tried to slip it in but I see you caught that.
If you are a regular reader you will remember my Karaoke Nemesis.
If you are new to reading my blog click on the title to this post and you can read about the beginning of this rivalry.
After Michigan State's devastating loss to North Carolina on Monday I wasn't ready to just call it a night and head home and sulk. First my friend Jana and I went out and had the best burger I have had since moving to Alaska. Than I was able to talk her into going to Karaoke with me. I had to finally face-off with Dax, the man that dared to tell me I don't know crazy karaoke.
I promised Jana I would only sing one song and than we could go. I almost believed it myself. But karaoke is like chips you can't just stop at one. I eventually roped in Jana's friend Tex(who is from Washington) to sing some songs to prolong the karaoking Madness.mwhahahaha
okay I went to a Count from Sesame Street place for a second.
The thing is the Karaoke was far from madness. It was also far from crazy. It was regular. When I got my shot to take over the microphone I knew I had to rock it. I have been toying with the idea of adding "The Distance" by Cake into my repertoire, but for my first song I had to go with one I knew I could rock. Dax is known for cutting off people and changing their songs and kicking them off stage if they aren't good singers. He had also kind of blown me off before it all started when I said I had come to do some karaoke. I ended up opening with, no surprise, Build Me up Buttercup. The crowd went wild, again no surprise. After I finished Dax said, "Wow! We need more people like Carol!"
Point for me.
I didn't sign up for a second song because I really did intend to stick to my promise of one song. Eventually there was a point where no one was signed up for a song. How does that happen at the craziest karaoke in the world? Because Dax was being heckled(mostly from my table-not by me I was stony silent-Tex and Jana let him have it) he decided not to sing another cheesy song where he changes the words to be about Homer. He eventually found his way over to my table. And got me to sing again. I feel he was trying to embarrass me. To try and reclaim some power. I agreed. Bring it. A Ms. Sara Lutz signed me up for "I Believe I Can Fly" once and I brought it. He played "Don't Stop Believin'" Can't embarrass me with a song that I have rocked many a time.
I had a Michigan State Shirt on with a "Go State!" sign on the back of my shirt. When I did the "From south Detroit" part I turned so the crowd could read my "Go State" sign. And than I did it again at the "Some will Lose" and had a really sad face... Still I rocked the shit out of that song.
Point for me.
After I was all done Dax proclaimed, "Carol where have you been? We need you here all the time!"
Point for me!
And in your face be-otch!
I got Tex to sing "Friends in Low places" by himself and than talked him into doing "Bohemian Rhapsody" with . Dax said this was a sacrificial song, a song that people glutton for punishment sing.
Guess what Tex and I did? Yeah We totally rocked it.
I'm giving myself 5 points for that.
IT was getting time to leave and I just want to sing "Sweet Caroline" a song I never get to sing. Tex needed to go and I got him to agree to stay through an insanely drunk girl's rendition of "Dirty Deeds" if we went right after her. I went up to chat with Dax about getting in one more song. He said he could do it but I had to do something for him. He than puffed out his cheek and tapped on it. I acted as if I haven't had creepy old men all over the world give me this move. My eyes got all big and became glazed over with question marks.
"Ummm, ahhh" I then puffed out my cheeks and pretended to be a blow fish.
He looked at me and then said, "Do you want the song? Cuz you gotta do something for me."
I tightened up my face and did it.
Damn you Dax! You brought me down a peg.
Point for Dax.
He tries to pull that shit again I'm out of there.
Tex and I did rock it good enough to get the one man left in the audience to applaud.
So I take back my point.
Dax...my Karaoke Nemesis... I don't feel I can call you that anymore. You suck and I'm pretty amazing.And I'm really modest about my skills. It's beneath me to have you as a nemesis. You think that it is all about the voice and as I have preached to people all over the world, Karaoke has nothing to do with your voice but the show you put on. This was far from crazy karaoke. To me crazy karaoke is Crunchy's right before our whole table gets kicked out because Sara is kicking someone, Tom keeps singing with people who don't want his help, and I like to show people how fast I can drink by using their drinks to demonstrate. It's giant sing-a-longs. Dax. You don't know what I've seen. And how hard I can rock it, I half assed it for ya! But my friend Sam is coming, so I'll be back. And I will destroy you again.